Clay Is Sabotaging His Relationship With AD (Here’s Why)
5 mins read

Clay Is Sabotaging His Relationship With AD (Here’s Why)


  • Clay struggles with past relationships and infidelity due to poor family examples.
  • AD’s mom encourages Clay to seek therapy and create his path for self-healing.
  • Clay has not taken proactive steps to address his fears and continues to hint at potential infidelity.



Since the premiere of Love Is Blind season 6, Clay Gravesande has been sabotaging his relationship with Amber “AD” Desire. AD kicked things off in the pods with Clay, but he wasn’t the only man she was dating. The 33-year-old real estate broker had also talked to Matthew Duliba, a senior financial analyst. Initially, AD wasn’t that interested in Clay as he seemed to focus solely on her looks, but they reconnected after AD broke up with Matthew to focus solely on Clay, and the two left the pods engaged.

AD and Clay’s relationship hasn’t been as tumultuous as some of the other Love Is Blind season 6 cast members, but they have dealt with some issues, including Clay’s past. His family dynamics have been holding him back from moving forward and focusing on his life, thus making him skeptical about whether he will be good enough for AD. The Love Is Blind couple, who even had nicknames for each other, have been filled with twists, turns, and lots of drama, but Clay is the biggest contributor to their issues.

Clay Talked About Cheating with AD

One of the most jaw-breaking moments between Clay and AD is when he confessed he hadn’t seen great examples of black marriages growing up. The Love Is Blind reality star told AD that he didn’t want to let her down and was trying to be the best guy for her. He talked about his struggles with his parent’s divorce and how cheating was normal in his family. Clay added that he had never seen a stable black relationship (via Love Is Blind Netflix).

“I’ve never seen a black relationship that…where the man is faithful. I’m not even blaming my dad. Like I’m talking about all black men that’s been in my life. Even, like, celebrities, like the Will Smiths, you know, all the celebrities, like the Diddys and stuff like that. Those are Black men I like look at, and it’s like you always hear they have other women.”

Clay Struggles With His Parents’ Relationship

Clay Love Is Blind relaxing on a boat
From Clay Gravesande IG Post

In Love Is Blind season 6, episode 10, Clay meets AD’s mom, who asks him about his view on marriage and relationships. Clay was quick to bring up his parents’ 24-year marriage, the struggles they had, and how much they affected him as a child. Clay also added that he never went to therapy to deal with his childhood trauma, which was still holding him back in his relationships. AD’s mom encouraged Clay to rise above it all and try to create his own path.

“Some of the stuff that we go through as your mother and father, that’s our stuff. Just saying, “I’m gonna mess this up,” And that’s just like that self-sabotage, because to have to form and figure out your own stuff for yourself.”

AD’s mom is rooting for AD and Clay, with Clay stating that he was looking for ways to move forward and improve in life. The conversation between AD and her mother after Clay left them for a moment was beneficial, with her mom noting that the problemsClay was worried about weren’t his. AD’s mother didn’t invalidate Clay’s feelings, which made him feel heard and appreciated. Additionally, her mom encouraged AD to leave if Clay treated her terribly.

Clay Isn’t Making Efforts To Heal

Although Clay openly talks about his fears, he doesn’t seem to be making an effort to heal from them. Clay talked about the infidelity trips he took with his dad and jokingly told AD that his dad would even hit on her. Nonetheless, Clay never mentioned what he was doing to address these issues. Instead of focusing on his healing journey, Clay has been throwing all the signs out to AD that he might cheat on her, suggesting that Clay and Ad will not get married in the Love Is Blind season 6 finale.

Love Is Blind

season 6, episodes 1-11 are available for streaming on Netflix. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Source: Love Is Blind Netflix/Instagram

Love is Blind Season 4 Poster

Love Is Blind

Fifteen men and women from the same city come together to compete in Love is Blind, a reality dating show created for Netflix. The show sees couples meet and fall in love with a twist – they’ll only meet face to face if one of the two accepts a marriage proposal. If they accept, they’ll move in with their partner, meet their families, and ultimately decide if they want to say “I do.”

Vanessa Lachey , Nick Lachey

Release Date
February 13, 2020


Chris Coelen

Chris Coelen

Chris Coelen

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